Monday, December 29, 2008
sometimes, i just feel like giving up everything. i'm on the verge of giving eveything up now, i'm just gonna have a nervous breakdown if another bad stuff come crashing down on me.
sometimes, i wonder if anyone would actually grieve over my death. but i guess ppl will just actually shrug off my death like it had never happen before and get on with their lifes.
Sometimes, i will just smile/laugh, but its just a minute part of my life. Im just putting on a brave front. I feel like im always the one sacrificing, just so that other ppl are happy; while, i'll just sob with myself.
In the past, i'll show my displeasure on my face when im unhappy. But recently, i just pretend that im feeling fine. It's like im lifeless and i seriously dun have anymore feelings in me. though, its kinda ironic that im stating all these facts here, but if i dun even have any space to voice out my thoughts, i'll just jump right off my flat.
im like a walking zombie now, void of feelings. (seems like i really did jump off the building (not literally though)
i somehow cant recognise myself anymore. I was so cheerful, happy-go-lucky, full of funny actions and everything in the past. But ever since i'm in poly, im quiet everytime, i wait for ppl to say smth humorous, my actions are normal, im not crazy, im just so plain and boring.
i'm just not geraldine anymore.
if i can just turn back time...maybe i'll still be as cheerful and happy-go-lucky..i'll never meet people whom i dun wanna meet at all.
since i dun have the courage to end my life, i'll just bury myself in studies, studies and more studies, cos i'll just continue being a lifeless walking zombie; i'll not have any feelings in me, i'll just be quiet everytime, wait for ppl to say smth humorous, and be plain and boring..
sometimes, i wonder if anyone would actually grieve over my death. but i guess ppl will just actually shrug off my death like it had never happen before and get on with their lifes.
Sometimes, i will just smile/laugh, but its just a minute part of my life. Im just putting on a brave front. I feel like im always the one sacrificing, just so that other ppl are happy; while, i'll just sob with myself.
In the past, i'll show my displeasure on my face when im unhappy. But recently, i just pretend that im feeling fine. It's like im lifeless and i seriously dun have anymore feelings in me. though, its kinda ironic that im stating all these facts here, but if i dun even have any space to voice out my thoughts, i'll just jump right off my flat.
im like a walking zombie now, void of feelings. (seems like i really did jump off the building (not literally though)
i somehow cant recognise myself anymore. I was so cheerful, happy-go-lucky, full of funny actions and everything in the past. But ever since i'm in poly, im quiet everytime, i wait for ppl to say smth humorous, my actions are normal, im not crazy, im just so plain and boring.
i'm just not geraldine anymore.
if i can just turn back time...maybe i'll still be as cheerful and happy-go-lucky..i'll never meet people whom i dun wanna meet at all.
since i dun have the courage to end my life, i'll just bury myself in studies, studies and more studies, cos i'll just continue being a lifeless walking zombie; i'll not have any feelings in me, i'll just be quiet everytime, wait for ppl to say smth humorous, and be plain and boring..